REVIEW: Vampires Suck

Well, I wanted to check this out for one reason and one reason only: I cannot stand the Twilight franchise and wanted to at least check out if Vampires Suck was only a tad bit better but as predicted, it was shit but not as shit as the films it is taking the piss out of! Where I think this film could have been great as in funny would be if it was actually funny to literally laugh out loud at, not to groan with embarrassment and shame towards. It was like it wasn’t spoofing it in a funny way. I wanted to like this but I really didn’t.

We all know that pretty much every single spoof is bad even though there are a few good exceptions but what ones like this are weak at, not only the fact that they aren’t even laugh out loud funny but also they barely try with making it a suitable attraction for viewers to watch such as the incredibly cheesy make-up, costumes and art direction. Understandably, spoofs aren’t really the kinds of films that everyone would enjoy and after seeing this one, it is no wonder why.

In every film directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, they have cast actors who I hadn’t even heard of until now and, quite frankly, because their acting was so bad, I don’t even want to hear of them ever again. Admittedly, I will give some of the actors credit that they did look like the actor and character they were playing and ripping off but their acting wasn’t even close to satisfactory but like the entire film in general, I didn’t feel half the pain with this one as I did with the Twilight films themselves especially New Moon and Eclipse. Also, I will say that the actors in this aren’t ripping off every single vampire film and their characters like a lot of people have suggested but it is just ripping off that series. Where it could have been awesome is that if it was acted and maybe even directed by the same people who did theScary Movie franchise. I haven’t seen them but they certainly received more recognition and credit than anything by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

Admittedly, in Meet The Spartans despite that was even crapper than this, I did laugh at least once but the rest just made me gag but the entire film of this made me gag and feel pain. Meet The Spartans is mysteriously worse for me but I don’t know why. I would have said if I actually found it funny that it was a good script for ripping off such pieces of shit but despite that, it just didn’t work in the slightest. It felt a lot like random folks off the street who hate Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and even Stephenie Meyer decided to write it and then contacted the two directors and decided to make it. I will admit that I am not surprised that they decided to make a spoof of the Twilight franchise especially when it’s trying to top the awesome Harry Potter franchise but it is just failing. I can see these two guys directing a spoof of Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord Of The Rings or even a Pirates Of The Caribbean spoof next. Vampires Suck did earn a lot of Razzie nominations as predicted but I don’t think it’ll win Worst Picture because it is trying to be crap and the directors don’t care (which in a way, I admire) so think it’ll be The Last Airbender (most likely winner) or The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. *Bitch slap to Stephenie Meyer*, right there!

Overall, Vampires Suck obviously does suck and is an absolute disaster! This could have been great to those people who hate the Twilightfilms such as myself but obviously not. Not the very worst film of 2010 but it definitely is one of the worst of 2010. Whether you’re a fan of the Twilight franchise or not, you will cringe at this and be embarrassed that you’re watching this, trust me!


~ by SJMJ91 on 21/05/2012.

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